It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self

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In It's Not Always Depression, pioneering psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel reveals the most effective techniques for putting us back in touch with the emotions we too often deny - methods which can be used by anyone, any time, anywhere. I didn't know much about this concept having just picked up this book on the basis of the title alone. In my opinion, this is more like a book that you read if you were a neurotic but not enough to the point that you can't function in your daily life, or it inhibits you from fulfilling your day to day duties/responsibilities, etc. He looked a bit surprised but said yes, so I grabbed a small cushion off my sofa and tossed it to him. You do n0t have to act on emotions, and in most cases, you probably won't, but the information these impulses give you is important.

In the book, Jacobs explores how she the “Change Triangle” to identify defenses (behaviors used to block core/inhibitory emotions), inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, anxiety) that prevent us from fully experiencing our core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement) which would allow us to then enter a state of openheartedness. I strongly believe it is essential reading for everyone and anyone who wants to live an emotionally healthy and fulfilling life. I’m glad I bought this book as it’s helping me on my healing journey, some things aren’t just depression so it’s good to hear what else we need to consider, what else could be the problem, this book helps you to look at other root causes to your suffering and it’s full of tools, ideas and tips that can help you heal. She runs a practice on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and was the Mental Health Consultant for the Emmy and Golden Globe-winning show Mad Men.healing change occurs as the patient forms new expectations for relationships based on the secure relationship with the therapist. This book is particularly powerful as you offer a visual map, the change triangle, to organize the diagnosis and source of feelings and corresponding actions. There was also a lot of repetition, I didn’t need to read the transcript of ten identical sessions to understand how they go, especially if they’re the same word for word, this got me bored very quickly.

I have read some books in last one year on the topics of depression, emotional issues, trauma etc for my own healing. Moreover, Hilary Jacobs Hendel’s writing is lucid and accessible, which makes her method as clear and practical as you can get in self-help titles.Understanding how emotions work in the mind and body helps prevent and ease anxiety and depression, and shows us a tried and true, science-based path of healing from our childhood wounds, which we all have to some degree. It has long been suggested that our attachment styles in childhood explain our adult relationships and Hendel explains that trauma is the root cause of our psychological distress.

And there are inhibitory emotions, like shame, guilt and anxiety, which serve to block you from experiencing core emotions.My rating has less to do with the book and more to do with my ability, in my present state, to fully embrace its teachings. Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear.

Can I access compassion now, even though I may also be having other emotions like fear, sadness, or anger? However, to be fair to the author, she does not argue that the change triangle is the only viable therapeutic framework; instead, it's the one she prefers. Focus on sensations of anxiety: Tune in to the physical sensations of your anxiety, like a quickly beating heart or butterflies in your stomach.It’s interesting that there appears to be a lot of literature recently which is focused on the use of psychotherapy of a similar psychoanalytical kind to that which Hendel discusses. It allows you to reacquaint yourself with your feelings, to recover a more authentic self and to be more calm, curious and connected.